Monday's Mood : Mocha

  For Monday's Mood I'm choosing Mocha. Pretty much because the only coffee I've been drinking has been decaf. I'm missing the chocolate and oooh caramel or maybe peanut butter and now I'm thinking of ice cream. Figures!

 Warning: Personal Post

The past week has been rough. Travel on the road for answers has been very bumpy since I found out our insurance doesn't cover fertility. I've googled myself out! I've since seen my Dr.  I was dreading the scale. I know I've gained weight and this has been extremely hard for me to watch the scale climb higher. (I started to remove my shoes when I was starting to loose weight. It's become a habit now) But there I was again watching it climb and hit 111 lbs. I squeezed my eyes tight and shook my head. Thankfully, I was quickly interrupted by the nurse who sent me to the last room so she could take my temp etc. Then came in Dr. F  who I explained my plight to. He told me that my left ovary (the one the hurts) is a bit larger then the right. He doubts it's  PCOS since it's usually the case with over weight womenn.  He immediately put a call into the fertility center to find out what we can do. I could hear the message on the speaker. "We are in a lunch meeting" it touted. He left a message for them to call him and even gave his cell number. He promised he'd call me as soon as her heard back. He examined me and attempted to reassure me. When I got home I heated up my cup of decaf, climbed the stairs and sat my phone next to me on the bed. Turned on the monitor and waited for it to boot up. I was nodding off in front of the screen (did I mentioned I haven't been able to sleep either) and BUzzz my phone went off.  It was a number I didn't recognise. "Hello?" I stuttered.  On came a familar friendly voice. It was  Dr. F he had told me " I think I have great news for you!" apparently he had discussed my situation with a nurse at the center. " She mentioned some anorexic patients don't get their period back for years until they achieve their ideal weight." Years! I thought. "I told her great! My  patients will love being told to eat!" "Yeah, I started to joke all except the anorexic ones" meaning me. " I'm gonna say make your goal 125-130. If you get your period before 125 give me a call." I grabbed a pen and my trusty note pad and wrote "125-130- Ideal" down. I took a deep breath. "Hoo boy, here we go" I thought. Then he suggested I meet with his wife who worked with woman on a diet plan. She could tell me what foods to eat and what not to eat. "I would love that." I said. So tomorrow at 10 am sharp I'm meeting with her. I'm hoping this really helps. 

   Cut to:  Sunday Oct 17th. Hubs and I are wrapping  his sister C's baby shower gift. (Oh, did I mention her shower was Sunday and here I am a wreck! Still, I was determined to make an appearance. I wanted C to know that I loved her and was happy for her and her husband.) I was doing fine until I got to the onesies. I must have folded them six times trying to get them just wright and wrapped in the tissue paper. They were so perfectly soft a green one for the boy with "What does the cow say?" written on the front. On the back was the answer "Moo Moo" in a little cloud. The Pink one for the girl "What does the cat say?" " Purr Purr" on the back. I manged to wrap both little monkey suits and the hats but once I got to the onsies I started to shake. I could tell Nick noticed this since he scooted across the floor to take the little clothes from me and hold me. I curled up on his lap and cried into his shoulder. 

 When we arrived at C and T's house. The party was in full swing. Their house is quite cute. We made our way past the monkey face cupcake and  the pink and blue decorations on our way into the living room. It was gift opening time and there was C sitting there with her  bump. I wanted to hand her the gift and give her a hug but I couldn't seem to find a path through all the sea chairs and cameras. I decided it best to stay back and not draw any attention. I handed our bag to be passed up to her and waited for her to get to open it. I leaned my head on Nick's shoulder and he kissed it gently to comfort me. C opened what seemed bag after endless bag of clothes, stuffed animals, baby gear etc.. Then she was handed ours. "Phew" I thought. Somehow, I wanted to see her reaction to our gift esp. those onsies. I don't remember how but when dinner was announced I made my way thrugh the crowd and hugs C. "We have to go I said just wanted to give you a hug and tell you we love you" she thanked me and said she was glad I showed up.   Nick and I left and made our way out past the crowd in the kitchen. As we started to walk away my limbs where feeling heavy and I about collapsed into Nick sobbing. When we got into the car I said " I wanna just go home." But we couldn't go home. We had a ton of junk in mom and dad's garage and it really needed to be relocated to the apartment.  We loaded up the van and headed to our apartment. Nick unloaded most while I cleared out under the stairs. Then we took the last two trips together. After  we got home after dropping off the van I started to cry. Nick looked down and found me having opened a little silver box. In this box was a little winter outfit I picked up years ago. It was old fashioned and had a knitted bonnet and two pairs of socks. " I bbbought this when ..." I started to stutter. Nick softly simply said " I know" He walked me over to the couch and we sat down. I leaned into him and he put his arm around me then stroked my face as the tears streamed down. " I love you" he said then he kissed me on the forehead. 

 I'm starting to shake again. I was relocating our "children's library" to the office today and shelve all those wonderful books. I've had a bowl of cheerios a few apple slices and an individual bag of orveils light kettle corn (my newest addiction).  At first I didn't like it but now I find I actually do. Sometimes with me I've found that I program myself that I won't like something so I don't eat it. Tonight Nick will be "surprising" me with dinner.
(Surprising is when I don't know what it will be so I can't doubt my decision and change my mind umpteen times. I have a hard time with this thanks to the mess I got myself into last year when I started counting calories. I tend to deny what I want or put it off till It's too late to get it)  Nick's wonderful idea of "surprising" me allows me some freedom in away. I can't explain it but for me it's a comforting thing. I can't wait to hug him when he gets home.  So, I'm headed down stairs to put in the final disc of season 1 Ghost Whisper and wait for his call.


                                            Wishes from Wonderland
                                           ~ Alice

Monday's Mood: Cupcakes and Coffee

  Monday's Mood color is Toffee. Why is that? A number of reasons. As, you pretty well know. I'm really embracing fall right now. Tonight, I was on a excursion with my mother looking for black pants for work. Pretty simple task no? Nope, more like impossible to find the right fit. Too baggy or to tight. So, here I am feeling a bit like Goldilocks. Oh, well, it's time to take a break.  Hello Starbucks my old friend!  Haven't seen you in a while. What's new? Ooh, many people know of Starbucks fall staple the Pumpkin Spice Latte. I looked up at the sign and  the words "Toffee Mocha"  seemed to be glowing and well, I decided that mom needed to try this special coffee. I have admit, it even intrigued me so I asked permission for a sip. I wasn't expecting much but when I took my first sip. Yummers! Cue the choir "ahhh". Yes, Toffee Mocha is a delightfully delicious flavor. It is my humble opinion that it is simply perfect for fall.

 Before this I was thirsty and mom a bit peckish so we head to the Chik Fil A.  We all know their hot fresh chicken is the best. No brain er really. But what I'm loving is the kids meal toys.  Something I've been on my soapbox about for a while now is how cheap they have been as of late. So you can imagine my surprise and delight to see that Chick Fil A was giving out nice little children's books from the Laura Numeroff series. I pulled open the plastic and what was revealed was a decent sized little book. I opened it up expecting cheap pages and majorly cut down artwork. But there wasn't any. The pages weren't magazine like but real paper! We received "If you give a cat a cupcake"   I mean, finally, a kids meal toy to rival the days of when we would get cool stuff (IE 80s/early 90s) You know the days when you'd get real Lego's and my personal favorite trick or treat buckets your meal came in.
*Sigh* I'm soo glad to see this please keep up the good work Chik Fil A! Fyi: They also have board books for the under three crowd. :)

 Another trend I'm happy with is that just about at all kiddie meal places you have the fruit option. Wendy's has it mandarin oranges, Chick Fil A has a fruit cup (not sure this is as healthy as the rest but it's certainly better then the fries)McDonalds has apple slices, Burger King has apples as well.
You are able to substitute milk or juice as well. I'm not always successful at getting munchkin my niece to get the fruit when fries are available. But I've been successful in replacing her usual request for "brown soda" with apple juice. So, for this I'm happy. Now, if McDonald's would just bring back those great pumpkin buckets. lol

                                                           Wishes from Wonderland

                                                          ~ Alice

Monday's Mood! Back to School made cool part duex

Monday's Mood

   I've decided that I will select a color every Monday to describe my mood.

The first is Blue :

    I’ve been feeling a bit listless. So I found a image that made me smile.

 It’s honest, sincere and simple.

 It can be found in this a playroom. It's a great quote by Dr. Seuss above a beautiful window written in a lovely script. How charming is that?

Now for something cheery so it's Back to School made cool part duex

I've rounded up some good back to school finds for you.

First up is Martha Stewart's whimsical stickers and bookplates. What fun to use these to decorate those brown paper bags you covered all those books in.

There's also magnetic calander for planning your childs lunches here.

babalisme has got some cute labels as well.

classic play is featuring some adorable mini menus to tuck in your child's lunch. Jennifer's daughter says  “It feels like I’m in a fancy restaurant!”

  Are you ready for back to school?

                      Wishes from Wonderland

                                              ~ Alice